Sunday, April 1, 2012

For all the Angels God blessed Me With

Crazy thoughts come to mind when I reminisce on how Whitney Houston sparked wonderful interest in my life. The light she gave to the world guided my path.  I think the love of music always lived in my spirit because simply tasting a sound of it gave me a rush of adrenaline as if it were my first love. It gave me this matchless energy.  I was left with poetry being built up inside and I had to unravel the thoughts into one of my hundreds of thousands of notebooks, and I started writing them down so I could do what Whitney did and sing them. And so, I devoted myself to writing while I was a young girl in grade school.

I’d be in a little corner of this colossal world using my notebook to write about life, love and everything I could think of. It started as poetry; rhymes line for line in stanzas and then my love grew stronger.  It extended to lyrics and soon, I was adding them to music by writing tracks to sing them to. I guess writing and singing was always one in the same for me. Both have always added phenomenal joy to my life.
Here was my dilemma. I decided to build a studio and started recording songs on my own.  I would stay locked fresh on different beats and rhythms. The track would be created and then I went to sing them and it was me in the studio by myself trying to create something with no one around to stop, record, and pause when I transformed from the producer to the singer.  And then when I was to become the engineer, I could work through the night trying to edit and mix but the sounds just never came out right. The beats were awesome, but I could never equalize them just right to be considered radio ready. How interesting it is to try to perform your own original songs with a soundtrack that still needs some quality noise reduction and editing. I guess I could focus the blame on being such an eager person to do things without trying to get someone to help me to focus on just one aspect of the experience and allow someone else to lock fresh on those things that may not be my cup of tea.

The advantages of working together with people who can push you to be a better version of you, is phenomenal. Where there is mutual respect, the harmony in the blend of people truly makes a difference in the processes required to fulfill that desired conclusion; especially if those folks involved work well together.

The problem for me is allowing people to guide and following instead of always trying to walk on my own without true direction. My mentor gives me sound advice on how to better utilize my instrument and I am trying to get a better hold of his instruction and to not lose sight of it. Being as hard-headed as I am and have always been,  I am not used to being yelled at for not practicing. I thought simply singing was true practice until he showed me the difference when technique is applied and studied. To him that is practice and I'm learning.  

I was at a performance in memory of fallen angels like Whitney Houston who have left a legacy and met a producer there.  I never had someone tell me how to approach a song before and it is quite different I must say. It feels good to be pushed beyond my limitations.  

A playwright I once worked with in an off-Broadway production of his play, “Rock-A-My-Soul,” told me that I should consider wearing gowns when I sing and then I decided to try it. A little different  I must say when you come in dressed looking like you are going to a wedding when you are sharing your talent. But, I appreciated the look. It was a neat look and made me want to wear beautiful gowns more often. 

I even had people inspire me to sing certain songs while on stage even when I doubted how they encouraged me to handle my own flow of things. I guess it is not so bad to trust your own feelings but to also take advice from others. Taking advice is like looking back over a story and editing to add new, more defining things to it.
I’m learning that working together is working smart. I’m loving the experiences and so I’m going to talk about them and never stop because I am a person who wants to acknowledge all the angels in my life. The beauty they add can often be overlooked.  How could I forget to include these wonderfully made situations that God showered into my life?  They are worth talking about.  I pray that what you read might be a blessing on your life also and quite possibly might even make you smile. I sure enjoyed the writing process of it. You know why?  Because I am a writer taking a quantum leap into my first love with a heart to share it with you!

The following Youtube Video is a sample of the tribute to fallen angels performed live at the High Note in Amityville hosted by Debbie Knapper & the Knappertime Band. Chaka Khan's Angel seemed like the perfect song to  send up to the heavens for artists who left me inspired. But I have also realized that angels are all around me. They are those people, like my parents, teachers, mentors and inspirers who guide, push and help me to grow. Thank you for being a part of my life. I appreciate you all.


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