Here is a piece of wisdom about who I am that you might find Incredibly hard to believe.
I have spent my entire life walking past store fronts looking for a place to buy that one thing that I have yet to find at any store. I get one of those silly surges of anger and my eyes well because even after I fully occupy myself to prevail, that one thing I am searching for has yet to extend its greeting to me in my quest.
I have genuine interest in finding it though but doubters have been talking smut to me, trying with everything they have in them to scare me off from my continuing efforts. Then there are times when my mind starts wandering everywhere because I fall into doubt that prevents me from focusing and I start to lose my bearings. I guess you can say that those are the times when those who practice their craft of trying to get me to lose my earnest faith and to shift my direction works. But then, I think about what my thrilling adventure to find that one thing will bring and suddenly, a brilliant spring day sprouts in my heart and my hope in finding it grows rapidly.
I have traveled the world looking for it in the face of my sudden change of faith and here is a compendious summary of what happened. I walked along the Tennessee River throwing in my pennies and wishing to find it but I didn’t have much money to stay focused on that location. I visited Leonardo da Vinci’s home and saw him painting the Mona Lisa and asked him if he knew where it was and he responded quickly on possible places I could find that very thing.
He told me to take a trip to Paris and to walk across this wooden bridge and then to climb up three flights of stairs and that maybe it would be there but, it wasn’t. All I could remember was boarding flight 8775309 back to New York and from JFK, driving sleepily in the middle of a big storm back to home without even coming close to finding that one very thing.
Then it hit me while the rain from the strong thunderstorms was draining my yard. It hit me like thunder that shakes an entire neighborhood in a myriad of ways. I was out there risking my life trying to find it, hailed cabs in big cities only to encounter difficulty because that very thing has been here all along. It was almost as if the truth had lied dormant in me for all this time. I actually lost my way and did not even consider how real my lack of imagination had been. But the truth was slowly coming together and my happiness intensified.
Suddenly, I was in a relaxed state because I found it and the sun rose to the occasion. The fountain of youth is a myth. I couldn’t find it because it was right there in my backyard. No amount of money can buy your youth back. It is not sold in stores. We can go way back in pictures but the way you look at life is the way that you see it. You gain confidence in the strength of your experiences. If you keep an open mind, you have all the tools you need to be able to peacefully survive getting older. But no matter how many times you glance at your throwback pictures and wish that you can be young again and wish to buy back your youth, you’ll only do a masterful job of finding it if you take life with a grain of salt, like you would a margarita drink at a bar in a collins glass full of ice.
What was innocent living is no longer our ways. What was a simple life was something of back in the days. Serious matters had a lack of impact because we were too busy playing and enjoying our lives. We had so much fun and we had no other choice but to act like all was well because it was. If we continue to keep that internal joy lit like a candle during Advent, regardless of the adult real life quotidian events that keep our minds stressed, we will always find our youth, right there within our hearts; experiencing, learning and growing with favor and a flare of imagination.
So nowadays when I wish I could be young again, I make it a very good point to sink my feelings in the good things that are outweighing the bad and sing, dance and smile about it because though the world can often bring you to a point of feeling down to nothing, the true motive in life is to find a way to create your own joy within it. For what is life without smiling in breaths of fresh air and saluting the dawning of a new day’s worth of sun? If your answer is time unspent, you must be special because you probably know the most about it.
The Bible says that grey hair is a sign of righteousness and so with my silver sneakers, I feel okay now with my wrinkling skin that looks like I had been soaking in Jones Beach water for the entire day. Good and gray; can't beat that. You are however only as old as you feel. Or as young as the wigs and hats and Botox and other tricks make you look. A cougar in disguise you can call me. Or am I really that old and is this just animosity well-wishing from my bones? Then again, this is just a story and I have now arrived to the completion of it. Life however, rolls on like a rolling stone until it gets to a cliff starts flying to the bottom of the pit and then ejects wings like an eagle and flies up to heaven's gates. It is up to you if you spend it grumpy or jittery.